- If you are going to come into the store half naked, please don't complain about it being cold. I know I've stated it before - it's about 60 degrees in my world all of the time. Cover yourself. Please.
- I believe this can not be stated enough - Just because it says it's your size doesn't mean everyone wants to see you falling out of it. Buy a mirror and learn how to use it, I'm sure there's an app or YouTube channel for that.
- To the lady that likes to wear low cut blousy tops and then lean waaaaaay over the cheese case, my tatas are much better than yours. In fact, so are The Man's. Please put them away so they can't hurt anyone.
- I understand that having a cell phone allows you to be in contact with people no matter where you are. I also understand that many studies have shown that using a cell phone can cause brain tumors, so the speaker phone option is a good one to use. However, that does not mean you can plunk your basket down in the middle of my cheese case and pace around my department talking to someone on your speaker phone in a very loud voice about the incredible one night stand you had the night before. I don't care if you "made her beg for mercy". Neither did the nice family with the beautiful children that scuttled away, blushing. Have a little couth. You told the caller "Yeah, man, I couldn't make this up." My bet is that you did, and not well I might add.
- Also, if texting is more important that what's going on around you, please stay in one place. Walking out into a busy parking lot is not the time to be updating your status, unless that status is "Just walked into the side of someone's car because I'm too busy updating my status to know what is going on around me. LOL"
- Speaking of cell phones - if talking to whomever is on the line is more important than watching your brood as they play smash up derby with the little carts, knocking stuff off my displays and generally causing mayhem, I will be forced to do one of two things. I will either sell them into slavery, (for a profit of course, which will be donated to one of the human trafficking organizations - Miss Lexie does love to give back), or start charging babysitting fees of $50 for fifteen minutes, not prorated. Either way, problem solved.
- The new crop of faces arrived early August, and boy, did some doctor really clean up. Row after row of Barbie dolls, all nipped and tucked, taut and tanned, perky too big boobs, butts lifted and faces Botoxed to within inches of their lives. Black hair or platinum blond, they still all look the same, with their duck lips and wrinkled hands. Not to mention the husbands that still look like Methuselah. For several years I've witness it, and it's right on schedule, like the sparrows returning to Capistrano. Fall must be right around the corner.
On that note, I will close for now, dear readers. Miss Lexie will return as soon as something else catches her attention; it shouldn't take long.